Joan’s Helpful Hints, Advice, & Obnoxious and Frequently Incoherent Suggestions for the Furthering of Enjoyment of Scandinavian & Partner Social Dance for All Level Dancers.
Part 1: Dance Leads
What follows is my personal advice and tips for success for beginners and experienced dancers alike. Read them, use them, discard them, but please don’t share or reprint them without my permission. Note: Due to the length of this missive, the author has split it into two installments. Before you allow yourself to be offended by anything in Part 1, please wait until you have completed Part 2. Thanks. jb
Dance is a Social activity. Everyone contributes to a successful and fun evening.
The goal of dance is to engage in a community activity - safely. We practice our skills, learn, and improve our dance ability and knowledge. But our ultimate goal is to connect with others and have fun.
Partner dances differ from other forms of social dance in that these partnerships are not democratic groups. Over hundreds of years it has been found to be most fun and successful if people choose and dance in a particular role. Both roles, Lead and Follow, are equally important, fun, and contribute equally to reach the goal of a fun and enjoyable dance for all involved. I think of them as ‘different but equal’.
Regardless of the dance - its footwork/styling/ethnicity/etc. - there are some basic ‘tips’ for both roles. What I call ‘tips’ will, like everything in life, have exceptions. But you won’t go far wrong using these as your basis from which to start. I will address each role separately, but I challenge each of you to read both roles – regardless of your preferred dance role!
Leads: The object of dancing with a partner is to ensure their safety on the floor, your partners’ enjoyment, and to dance well and correctly --- in that order!!!
Start by asking someone to dance. Ask everyone to dance. I know that we all have favorite partners, but there is someone dying to dance or try this dance that is sitting down wishing to be asked! Make their night!
Also be aware that not everyone is comfortable being dragged through a dance. It is not fun to be man-handled through an unknown ‘something’ without some degree of success. And injury IS NOT FUN. Don’t insist - in the name of friendliness - or in order to show off your own prowess. Making someone else uncomfortable is NOT worth it -and may drive them away from dancing all together! Remember, their safety is your first priority!
If you are not sure you know the dance, ask anyway. Don’t sweat possible ‘mistakes’. ‘Wrong’ figures, ‘wrong’ footwork, ‘off the beat’ – all is forgiven – as long as no one is injured! Let your Follow know that you are new or learning this dance. And don’t be offended if your asked Partner, declines the dance. Don’t take it personally – some dancers have pre-existing conditions that they are protecting. Just smile and go ask another to dance.
A Lead gently guides their partner through the dance for the Follow’s enjoyment (not to show-off how great the Lead is!) It helps to visualize your Follow as:
A delicate, shapely, 400-pound crystal statue balancing a plate of filled wine glasses on their head. This imposing statue also stands on the most amazingly smooth casters!
To start this Follow moving may take some effort, but once in motion, they will continue in that direction until you direct them otherwise. Each Follow is different - some have power-steering and others do not. Be firm but gentle. If less effort is required to move your Follow, you can easily ‘gentle-down’ the leading. Remember, gentle, flowing, smooth movement is needed. Abrupt changes will spill the wine or shatter the crystal (which will probably hurt one of you!)
Leading is done with the shoulders. The upper and lower arms and wrists are connected to the shoulders to create a cradling frame in which to dance. A FLAT hand behind the upper back, is all that is needed. Do NOT try to grab a non-existent ‘handle’. Curved fingers are painful and can cause permanent and debilitating injury! Likewise, if the hands are joined, hold it gently. A death-grip is painful – and not useful in the dance. Hands need to be able to adjust position during dancing. You only want to ‘hold’ on enough to maintain contact with your partner.
It helps to think of (and practice with) a hula hoop. The hoop goes under the arms with your back against the inside. Your arms extend along the top of the hoop in front of you, such that the hoop is approximately parallel to the floor. Your elbows are along the hoop – not down at your sides. They stay in this position (or some modification of this position) during the entire dance.
Consider how a person walks naturally (not on a dance floor). When they change their direction, their shoulders start moving/turning first – before they ever take a step. The same thing should happen on the dance floor. The natural movement of your shoulders – as telegraphed through your frame of arms – signals to your Follow your intended movement. You just take your partner with you as you move, they have no choice because they are solidly within your frame. That’s all there is to the ‘magic’ of leading. You can practice this with your real or imaginary hula hoop. (That will be $600, please! The author.)
Just remember, once you set your partner in motion, they will continue in that direction/manner until you let them know (through your shoulders and frame) to change.
Your job is to guide them about the floor in such a manner as THEY enjoy the dance. Tip: Follows are not impressed by lots of poorly executed and frantically led variations – regardless of how many you know. Follows prefer fewer but nice, smooth, variations and an attentive partner. Your job is to make your Follow look and feel good!
Social dance is for each other; exhibition dance is for the audience. The only audience you should be concerned about is your partner.
Dance is a Social activity. Everyone contributes to a successful and fun evening.
The goal of dance is to engage in a community activity - safely. We practice our skills, learn, and improve our dance ability and knowledge. But our ultimate goal is to connect with others and have fun.
Partner dances differ from other forms of social dance in that these partnerships are not democratic groups. Over hundreds of years it has been found to be most fun and successful if people choose and dance in a particular role. Both roles, Lead and Follow, are equally important, fun, and contribute equally to reach the goal of a fun and enjoyable dance for all involved. I think of them as ‘different but equal’.
Regardless of the dance - its footwork/styling/ethnicity/etc. - there are some basic ‘tips’ for both roles. What I call ‘tips’ will, like everything in life, have exceptions. But you won’t go far wrong using these as your basis from which to start. I will address each role separately, but I challenge each of you to read both roles – regardless of your preferred dance role!
Leads: The object of dancing with a partner is to ensure their safety on the floor, your partners’ enjoyment, and to dance well and correctly --- in that order!!!
Start by asking someone to dance. Ask everyone to dance. I know that we all have favorite partners, but there is someone dying to dance or try this dance that is sitting down wishing to be asked! Make their night!
Also be aware that not everyone is comfortable being dragged through a dance. It is not fun to be man-handled through an unknown ‘something’ without some degree of success. And injury IS NOT FUN. Don’t insist - in the name of friendliness - or in order to show off your own prowess. Making someone else uncomfortable is NOT worth it -and may drive them away from dancing all together! Remember, their safety is your first priority!
If you are not sure you know the dance, ask anyway. Don’t sweat possible ‘mistakes’. ‘Wrong’ figures, ‘wrong’ footwork, ‘off the beat’ – all is forgiven – as long as no one is injured! Let your Follow know that you are new or learning this dance. And don’t be offended if your asked Partner, declines the dance. Don’t take it personally – some dancers have pre-existing conditions that they are protecting. Just smile and go ask another to dance.
A Lead gently guides their partner through the dance for the Follow’s enjoyment (not to show-off how great the Lead is!) It helps to visualize your Follow as:
A delicate, shapely, 400-pound crystal statue balancing a plate of filled wine glasses on their head. This imposing statue also stands on the most amazingly smooth casters!
To start this Follow moving may take some effort, but once in motion, they will continue in that direction until you direct them otherwise. Each Follow is different - some have power-steering and others do not. Be firm but gentle. If less effort is required to move your Follow, you can easily ‘gentle-down’ the leading. Remember, gentle, flowing, smooth movement is needed. Abrupt changes will spill the wine or shatter the crystal (which will probably hurt one of you!)
Leading is done with the shoulders. The upper and lower arms and wrists are connected to the shoulders to create a cradling frame in which to dance. A FLAT hand behind the upper back, is all that is needed. Do NOT try to grab a non-existent ‘handle’. Curved fingers are painful and can cause permanent and debilitating injury! Likewise, if the hands are joined, hold it gently. A death-grip is painful – and not useful in the dance. Hands need to be able to adjust position during dancing. You only want to ‘hold’ on enough to maintain contact with your partner.
It helps to think of (and practice with) a hula hoop. The hoop goes under the arms with your back against the inside. Your arms extend along the top of the hoop in front of you, such that the hoop is approximately parallel to the floor. Your elbows are along the hoop – not down at your sides. They stay in this position (or some modification of this position) during the entire dance.
Consider how a person walks naturally (not on a dance floor). When they change their direction, their shoulders start moving/turning first – before they ever take a step. The same thing should happen on the dance floor. The natural movement of your shoulders – as telegraphed through your frame of arms – signals to your Follow your intended movement. You just take your partner with you as you move, they have no choice because they are solidly within your frame. That’s all there is to the ‘magic’ of leading. You can practice this with your real or imaginary hula hoop. (That will be $600, please! The author.)
Just remember, once you set your partner in motion, they will continue in that direction/manner until you let them know (through your shoulders and frame) to change.
Your job is to guide them about the floor in such a manner as THEY enjoy the dance. Tip: Follows are not impressed by lots of poorly executed and frantically led variations – regardless of how many you know. Follows prefer fewer but nice, smooth, variations and an attentive partner. Your job is to make your Follow look and feel good!
Social dance is for each other; exhibition dance is for the audience. The only audience you should be concerned about is your partner.
Joan’s Helpful Hints, Advice, & Obnoxious and Frequently Incoherent Suggestions for the Furthering of Enjoyment of Scandinavian & Partner Social Dance for All Level Dancers.
Part 2: Follows and Putting the Roles Together
What follows is my personal advice and tips for success for beginners and experienced dancers alike. Read them, use them, discard them, but please don’t share or reprint them without my permission. Note: Due to the length of this missive, the author has split it into two installments. This is Part 2, a continuation of my tips, because this probably won’t make much sense unless you have read Part 1 first.
The goal of dance is to engage in a community activity - safely. We practice our skills, learn, and improve our dance ability and knowledge. But our ultimate goal is to connect with others and have fun.
Partner dances differ from other forms of social dance in that these partnerships are not democratic groups. Over hundreds of years it has been found to be most fun and successful if people choose and dance in a particular role. Both roles, Lead and Follow, are equally important, fun, and contribute equally to reach the goal of a fun and enjoyable dance for all involved. I think of them as ‘different but equal’.
Follows: Your goal is to become your Lead’s shadow – moving smoothly and effortlessly wherever and whenever they indicate - even if they are ‘wrong’!
If you are not okay with the above statement, then Lead. No one has fun or success if the Follow tries to lead. And your partner will never learn to lead! If you want good Leaders, then let them lead! (Take it from me, it’s an investment that pays off later!)
If asked to dance in a partner dance, say, ‘Yes, thanks.’ Too many ‘no’ responses (regardless of the reason) and ALL partners stop asking. It’s also acceptable in most US social dance venues for anyone to do the asking, and it is acceptable for dancers to dance ‘gender-free’ – in whatever role they like at the time. Relax. Be flexible!
If you are asked for a dance that you don’t know, let your would-be partner know that, and ask if they can assist you through it. Note: there are some dances that NO ONE can help you through without causing damage - you have to know the steps, and some dancers are not sufficiently well-enough versed with this dance to Lead and help someone else. So do not take offense if the would-be Leader declines. Allow them to retract their offer gracefully. (Then watch/follow the dance on your own!) If they assure you that they can help, then give it a whirl – or ask another for a second opinion if you are not sure of your safety on the floor.
A Follow’s frame is just as important as the Lead’s frame. Support your own arms. Don’t lean on your partner or expect them to hold you up. You dance over your own feet; don’t expect your Lead to hold you upright! If the hands are joined, hold it gently. A death-grip is painful – and not useful in the dance. Hands need to be able to adjust position during dancing. You only want to ‘hold’ on enough to maintain contact with your partner. Finger tips touching or a light hand on the arm or shoulder is all that is usually required.
It can help if a Follow visualizes themselves as:
A tall, delicate, Titanium (very strong and very light weight) statue, levitating over the floor – a mere puff of wind will send you moving, as if skimming over ice, in any direction at any time.
Your frame is what tells you what your Leader intends. So always be conscious of the connectivity to your partner’s frame. No drooping elbows. No collapsing frame. Stay upright, with proud posture, firm but not rigid arms, and enjoy the safety of the contact.
Awareness of your Leaders is all-important to being a great Follow. Focus on them. Feel their arms about you – on your back, your arms. Watch their shoulders; this is your first indicator of their intent.
Follow Practice: When you are out for a walk or just watching TV, pick a person to follow. (Hint: don’t try this with someone engaged in dancing. That’s the advanced class!) Be this walker’s shadow. When they walk, you walk. They stop, you stop. They turn to speak with another, you turn the same amount and in the same manner as they. Try to move at the same time – so there is no delay visible by their shadow. Hint: Watch their SHOULDERS!
Are they naturally bouncy walkers? Do they plod along? Jerky or smooth? To the best of your ability match their pace, gait, and flow. They won’t be aware that you are doing this, as you don’t have to be anywhere near them to practice. It sounds silly but this is great following practice. Try it!
On the dance floor, you have it even easier, as you are nestled into the frame of your Lead’s arms. Here, you have not just visual, but also physical indicators of their intent. Be their shadow. Match their dance. Bouncy or smooth? Big steps or small? Fast or slow around the floor? On or off the beat? Match them!!! (Don’t ‘fix’ them!)
Likewise, when in class and a dance is being taught, try NOT to listen to instructions for the Lead. You only know what your Lead is telling you to do via their leading. Changes may – or may not – be on the phrase. 3, 4, 5 turns? Only your Lead decides. Your Lead may or may not be on the beat. Dance with them. They may or may not know their step pattern. None of this is your problem! You are responsible for knowing your step patterns and following. The rest is their responsibility.
But do not try to Lead. While it’s nice to be helpful, trying to lead your Leader is not helpful on the floor. Neither of you will be successful and neither of you will enjoy it. It’s just not fun.
If asked, you can give your Lead feedback. “Nice lead.” “That was a great transition!” “I had trouble following you that time.” Etc. Be encouraging and helpful. We’re all learning! Kindness matters! Remember, you are investing in a future GREAT partner!
Lead & Follow:
Nothing is more memorable that a terrific dance with a great partner! It’s what we all work for. Just remember, success on the dance floor means working together. That’s why it is called PARTNER dancing. Everyone has more fun if everyone dances their role. So:
Practice following – someone in your neighborhood or on TV.
Practice leading – a mop or broom if that’s what you’ve got during these times of quarantine.
Listen to music, preferably the music for the dances you are learning or have learned.
Practice your step patterns while holding your ‘ghost’ partner in your frame.
We’ll all look forward to the happy days ahead when we can actually DANCE with each other again. And hopefully, if you think about these ‘tips’ now, you will have more success, be a more sought-after partner, and have more fun when we dance again!
See you on the dance floor!
The goal of dance is to engage in a community activity - safely. We practice our skills, learn, and improve our dance ability and knowledge. But our ultimate goal is to connect with others and have fun.
Partner dances differ from other forms of social dance in that these partnerships are not democratic groups. Over hundreds of years it has been found to be most fun and successful if people choose and dance in a particular role. Both roles, Lead and Follow, are equally important, fun, and contribute equally to reach the goal of a fun and enjoyable dance for all involved. I think of them as ‘different but equal’.
Follows: Your goal is to become your Lead’s shadow – moving smoothly and effortlessly wherever and whenever they indicate - even if they are ‘wrong’!
If you are not okay with the above statement, then Lead. No one has fun or success if the Follow tries to lead. And your partner will never learn to lead! If you want good Leaders, then let them lead! (Take it from me, it’s an investment that pays off later!)
If asked to dance in a partner dance, say, ‘Yes, thanks.’ Too many ‘no’ responses (regardless of the reason) and ALL partners stop asking. It’s also acceptable in most US social dance venues for anyone to do the asking, and it is acceptable for dancers to dance ‘gender-free’ – in whatever role they like at the time. Relax. Be flexible!
If you are asked for a dance that you don’t know, let your would-be partner know that, and ask if they can assist you through it. Note: there are some dances that NO ONE can help you through without causing damage - you have to know the steps, and some dancers are not sufficiently well-enough versed with this dance to Lead and help someone else. So do not take offense if the would-be Leader declines. Allow them to retract their offer gracefully. (Then watch/follow the dance on your own!) If they assure you that they can help, then give it a whirl – or ask another for a second opinion if you are not sure of your safety on the floor.
A Follow’s frame is just as important as the Lead’s frame. Support your own arms. Don’t lean on your partner or expect them to hold you up. You dance over your own feet; don’t expect your Lead to hold you upright! If the hands are joined, hold it gently. A death-grip is painful – and not useful in the dance. Hands need to be able to adjust position during dancing. You only want to ‘hold’ on enough to maintain contact with your partner. Finger tips touching or a light hand on the arm or shoulder is all that is usually required.
It can help if a Follow visualizes themselves as:
A tall, delicate, Titanium (very strong and very light weight) statue, levitating over the floor – a mere puff of wind will send you moving, as if skimming over ice, in any direction at any time.
Your frame is what tells you what your Leader intends. So always be conscious of the connectivity to your partner’s frame. No drooping elbows. No collapsing frame. Stay upright, with proud posture, firm but not rigid arms, and enjoy the safety of the contact.
Awareness of your Leaders is all-important to being a great Follow. Focus on them. Feel their arms about you – on your back, your arms. Watch their shoulders; this is your first indicator of their intent.
Follow Practice: When you are out for a walk or just watching TV, pick a person to follow. (Hint: don’t try this with someone engaged in dancing. That’s the advanced class!) Be this walker’s shadow. When they walk, you walk. They stop, you stop. They turn to speak with another, you turn the same amount and in the same manner as they. Try to move at the same time – so there is no delay visible by their shadow. Hint: Watch their SHOULDERS!
Are they naturally bouncy walkers? Do they plod along? Jerky or smooth? To the best of your ability match their pace, gait, and flow. They won’t be aware that you are doing this, as you don’t have to be anywhere near them to practice. It sounds silly but this is great following practice. Try it!
On the dance floor, you have it even easier, as you are nestled into the frame of your Lead’s arms. Here, you have not just visual, but also physical indicators of their intent. Be their shadow. Match their dance. Bouncy or smooth? Big steps or small? Fast or slow around the floor? On or off the beat? Match them!!! (Don’t ‘fix’ them!)
Likewise, when in class and a dance is being taught, try NOT to listen to instructions for the Lead. You only know what your Lead is telling you to do via their leading. Changes may – or may not – be on the phrase. 3, 4, 5 turns? Only your Lead decides. Your Lead may or may not be on the beat. Dance with them. They may or may not know their step pattern. None of this is your problem! You are responsible for knowing your step patterns and following. The rest is their responsibility.
But do not try to Lead. While it’s nice to be helpful, trying to lead your Leader is not helpful on the floor. Neither of you will be successful and neither of you will enjoy it. It’s just not fun.
If asked, you can give your Lead feedback. “Nice lead.” “That was a great transition!” “I had trouble following you that time.” Etc. Be encouraging and helpful. We’re all learning! Kindness matters! Remember, you are investing in a future GREAT partner!
Lead & Follow:
Nothing is more memorable that a terrific dance with a great partner! It’s what we all work for. Just remember, success on the dance floor means working together. That’s why it is called PARTNER dancing. Everyone has more fun if everyone dances their role. So:
Practice following – someone in your neighborhood or on TV.
Practice leading – a mop or broom if that’s what you’ve got during these times of quarantine.
Listen to music, preferably the music for the dances you are learning or have learned.
Practice your step patterns while holding your ‘ghost’ partner in your frame.
We’ll all look forward to the happy days ahead when we can actually DANCE with each other again. And hopefully, if you think about these ‘tips’ now, you will have more success, be a more sought-after partner, and have more fun when we dance again!
See you on the dance floor!
All contents on this page are the sole ideas of Joan S. Bennett. I do not presume to speak for others. Any resemblance to other publications or instructors is merely coincidental. Others may have other hints and feedback for you as you explore the world of dance. Like all ideas presented to you (including mine), it is your choice whether to accept them, adopt them, or reject them.
Copywrite May 2020; all rights reserved.
Copywrite May 2020; all rights reserved.